I Hate Plumbing

This week I had the misfortune to be faced with our basement toilet broken and unusable and the toilet in our condo in the same condition. Everyone knows that plumbers charge $75 per hour for their services. I for one think it is money well spent. On the other hand I fix most everything that goes wrong in our houses. I am Scottish and know a little about everything and try to avoid using the tradesmen.

Yesterday I found myself trying to fit my ample body in a space which was made to be occupied by extra soap, cleaning materials and necessary junk to keep a house running. Cramped in this space I had to reach the master shutoff for the water. I used to see people on Ed Sullivan fit themselves in ridiculous spaces but this was every bit as bad. After reaching my goal I began the process of changing the gear in the flush box. Simple enough if you know Chinese but I discovered that English was on the other side.

That accomplished, I swore it was the last plumbing job I would attempt as I had to put the water back on and it was just as difficult as turning it off. Today I talked to my neighbour and he said his plumber came and could not solve his problem but charged him $90 service charge.

I was convinced that I could do one more job. I attacked this job with an optimistic attitude and gathered my tools for the task. Little did I know that renovations to our bathroom made it almost impossible to get to that darn water valve. I did manage and without difficulty replaced the workings in the flush box. Next the plugged sink.

I was adamant that Theresa and her Mom plugged the sink with their hair washing . As I opened the release vent at the bottom of the goose neck I discovered something different. There was a couple of finish nails, a penny and a mass of guck gathered over ten years. I cleared it in minutes and cleaned up my mess. I always make a mess but clean up afterwords.

This latest adventure in the plumbing world convinced me that even a retired educator could pass himself off as a plumber. It is funny how we are motivated by money.