96 and Going Strong

Yesterday we celebrated the 96th birthday of Doris. The family and friends came together as we have on many other occasions to recognize a life of one of our oldest and respected citizens.The grand children, children and friends enjoyed the time shared with Doris and her comments were both humorous and enjoyable.

This year Doris was in good health and she was looking forward to the  visit of one of her few close relatives that being her sister in law and niece from Sussex, New Brunswick .They will be here shortly and stay with us for a week where I am sure stories will be told and news from down home will make the time fly .

At this time in the life of this lady every occasion becomes special and Doris just beams with enthusiasm when she visits with the young members of our family.Her memory is a little short but her eyes light up when she sees the Birthday cake and the realization that she really is ninety six. Her comments about life back at Coot Hill where she was born amaze the young folks as it is difficult for them to realize the changes Doris lived through her long and interesting life.

Doris has travelled extensively over the years but now she enjoys her time at home in the neighbourhood and with her immediate family. Doris loves sweets so this occasion provided a special day of cake and cup cakes to satisfy her sweet tooth. Of course her daughter Theresa is the apple of her eye and she depends on her for literally everything and her other close care givers Glenda and Lynda try to spoil her with special attention. As the day ended with the group dispersing  and travelling back home they all left with a happy feeling because of their time shared with Doris.

Old Friends Celebrating A Birthday Party

Our Doris is 95 years old and will be celebrating her 96 in two weeks. Yesterday she went to a party for her friend Vera who had her 98th and all had a great get together. One would never guess that the people at the party represented nearly a thousand years of healthy living. Some were still driving at very senior years on these busy holidays. Some were sharing their plans for the coming winter and where they would be living during the cold months and for some it took them away from Oakville and to far distant places like Europe and down south.

There were few words about age or health issues as they were celebrating Veras 98th birthday. She never looked a day over 70 and was as agile as many years younger. These folks were feisty and were thinking of future adventures . Some talk of the past and the humorous events in their life but little or nor remorse. Vera lived a active life and still remains  a vital and energetic person.

Birthdays like this one looked after by Vera's niece remind us of the value and need to keep our seniors up front and center as they have much to offer the younger generations. Unfortunately many do not live in an environment so friendly and nurturing and live in a lonely place without the hope of a better life style.

A Trip Back In Time

Saturday was a quick trip back in time. Theresa, Doris and I drove up to McKellar Lake to visit our daughter and her hubby. We were delivering a set of beds I made over the past few days. This trip was clearly a trip in the past as I first moved into Ontario in 1957 to become the principal of Magnetawan Public School. The area around this part of Parry Sound District holds fond memories from the past.

McKellar Village had a good ball field and our team from the Mag used to play there on a regular basis. After the game we used to have a swim in the nearby lake and cool off. Nearby Ardbeg was one of the tiny church groups that I used to service from time to time. The whole area was my hunting ground in the fall when partridge were plentiful and my landlady used to cut them up and make a most wonderful stew. She had a German Swiss background and everything she cooked had a distinct flavour. She used to add sausage to the stew. Sounds weird but it tasted wonderful.

Theresa and I decided to take Doris, our 95 year old mother, with us to show her the cottage and the beautiful lakes. It was a good decision as she loved every minute and never slept a wink on the 3 hour drive each way.

Things have changed up in Parry Sound District from when I lived there 55 years ago, but the natural beauty of the area remains. The roads are more modern and carve ugly scars on the land but when the sun shines on the blue water of the lakes there are few places that can match it for raw beauty.

We hope to return soon to once again soak up mother natures masterpiece and share some time with family.

How Old Is Too Old?

My partner when it comes to harvest time is Theresa of course. but her Mom is my partner when it comes to some of the other jobs. The only difference is that Doris, my mother-in-law is in her 96th year. She feels left our now as she can no longer climb the ladder nor do some of the jobs that she did all of her life.

Cleaning the strawberries seems to be one of her jobs that she is very fast at and helps, as we make our strawberry path a real productive part of our garden. As a young girl back on her parents' farm she was involved with all aspects of preserving and related chores expected of farmer wives and family.

Her memory is not great but when it comes to anything from the good old days she is still right on the money.We work well together and so far never had a spat. I must be doing something right.

Pensive Mood

There are times in our lives when we have to come to grip with issues that are life changing. At this time we are at that stage - or at least I am that. Life gives us an opportunity to expand our horizons but at a cost. Should we make choices that are for our benefit or should we consider the bigger picture and see life as a community venture and contemplate the whole family?

We have been fortunate to have lived in Florida for ten years in a beautiful home and with close friends and activities which would be the envy of many. Our 95 year old mother is in a lodge which also would be the envy of many but she is missing the most important part of her life. She misses we who are living the good life, and feels alone despite the fact that she has family close by.

We will have to return to Oakville and have Doris come back into the fold and share her remaining years with the people that really count. This is not a easy decision as we will have to sell our home here and return to the winter weather which we have escaped for so many years.

This stage in our life will have its rewards as we will be able to share the remaining years that Doris will have here on earth. I have a clear picture of the years ahead and realize that there is always a social benefit from doing the proper thing. We are anxiously looking forward to our new adventure.

Comfort Food

On a cold day there is nothing better to eat than a nice hot stew and home made biscuits. Doris was here and I suggested that she make her home made biscuits. At 95 Doris had to  look up the recipe but it did not take long for her to make a small batch to go with the stew. Sometimes the simplest of meals are the best.

Doris Moves To Chartwell

Having worked the morning with Adam, Theresa and Glenda moving Doris to her new home I arrived home to a house with an empty bedroom. As I entered my home and looked down the hallway I could not help but notice the quiet, completely empty bedroom at the head of the stairs. It was not a good feeling but a lonely one.

We had removed all of Doris' furnishings and placed them in her new home at Chartwell. This independent living lodge is beautiful in every sense and her personal living space is just right for an elderly person who is capable of taking care of herself. The best thing is that the lodge is close by in our town and not miles away so visitations are convenient and home visits for special events easy to manage.

Doris will be turning 95 in a month and can no longer travel with us to Florida for the winter. She will however  fly to New Brunswick to visit her friends and relatives next week and drive back with us on our return from N.S. in a few weeks.

Our home will not be the same without Doris as she has been the third member of our family for over thirteen years, During these years she has been a constant traveller  and adventurer and never showed her age. No trip was too long or drive too far for Doris and she never slept a wink on any of our travels in the van. I wondered if it was to make sure I was always awake or just her love of seeing new things.

Doris was easy to live with as she had a great appetite and loved everything which contained sugar.She was a great contributor to the household chores and loved to hang out clothes, do dishes and help with the preserving. I will miss her and her morning greeting every morning at exactly 8.30 am. She was our weatherman and read the  the morning paper every day. I thought she was interested in sports as she always had that section in her hands when she first opened the Star. Actually it was because the weather was on on the back page of the sport news.

Doris will establish friendships with people of her own age although there are not many her age there at Chartwell and share memories she has gathered over her years of a happy, eventful and rich life. Our family will include Doris at every opportunity and she will still be the great grandmother to her many family member and a vital link in the strong chain of our family fabric. I have every reason to believe her life will be even richer in her new surroundings once she gets established.

Living Together Alone

Theresa and I have been married for twelve years but this is the first time  we have been alone except for holidays. There is a special freedom with this new arrangement and we have been enjoying this new found circumstances. The time factor is the biggest difference. Since we do not have to concern ourselves with others we are able to manage our own time. Little things like being late for lunch or rushing home to prepare supper because someone depends on you for this service.

The spontaneity of decisions and the ability to change or alter plans without considerations for others is a pleasure we have noticed. Mealtimes and the menu can be simplified when you just want a snack instead of a meal and you want to put off having a dinner all together is easy.

When there is just the two of you all kinds of discoveries are possible and you become a different person because you are able to express all the facets of human behaviour without reservations because of the privacy of your life. I always realized the need for privacy and the value of this element in marriage but circumstances have prevented this from becoming a reality. The time we lived with others had a strong influence over our behaviour and much of that was great. The sharing of your life with a family member is one of the wonderful gifts you can bestow on a family member. We have been rewarded over and over by the presence of our mother  in our family.

This year because of insurance and other reasons we do not have our 95 year old mother with us. To say we miss her would be a mild term as never a day goes by but she comes up in our conversations. Although we know she lives in beautiful surroundings we hear words expressing her sorrow living without us.

We truly love the freedom we have but it comes at a cost. We hope that we will be able to afford the price.

Birthday Party For Doris

The years just seem to fly by and Doris never changes. She will be celebrating her 94th tomorrow. Most people look their age or older but Doris seems to have that quality which keeps her eternally young looking. We are having her birthday party a day early so as to accommodate her well wishers who have plans for the long weekend. As Theresa and I were preparing for the family and friends gathering, Doris would not be denied the fun of helping with the food and organizing and was there right in the middle of the mix. She even helped herself to the cake pan and licked the last little bit of batter as she did when her mother baked cakes for the family.

There is no putting on airs with Doris as she reminisces about her life back in Coot Hill, N.B. Her memory of those early days are filled with the happy moments and are missing those times which must have been trying for everyone who lived through the depression years. Being the only girl in a family of six brothers gave her special status and has fond memories of her father and mother and admits she was her father's favourite.

Doris is a great traveller and has been to many places during her later life and even in her nineties she drove to Florida with us every year and never slept a moment because she never wanted to miss anything. Her love of trees is amazing and as we travelled through the American countryside she always comments about the trees. Her love of nature probably comes from her early life in beautiful rural New Brunswick.

Doris is an inspiration to our family and has had this role as grand old lady down pat but never wishes to be thought of as old. In Florida she loves to swim every day and take walks in the neighbourhood with us or alone. There is a major re-construction job here where we live and she gives adequate supervision to see the job is properly carried out. I have written about Doris on every birthday for the past 13 years and my wish is that this tradition will continue for many more. So Happy Birthday Doris and many more to come.

Hospital Crisis

Following the mess regarding our recent medical incident in the USA I have a faltering feeling of security with our system.It is easy to blame the insurance company and at first sight I was tempted to do just that. However I read another story today in the Toronto Star which replicated the mess we found ourselves in while Doris was in hospital in Florida. Doris and the man in the news article were given excellent care while they were patients but the insurance company was unable in both cases to obtain a hospital bed in Ontario. For Doris it meant an 11 day stay and for the man it was two weeks.

In both cases the insurance company attempted to find a bed for their clients. In the whole GTA they could not find a bed. This is nonsense as any ambulance arriving at a hospital will be accommodated.I understand that there are special circumstances for out of country patients and red tape for sure. These people are citizens of Ontario and in both cases waited long periods of time for a bed.To be helpful I wish to say that both patients are well now even after the worry and distress suffered by lingering for so long. I shall write the minister of health and follow up with a phone call to see if something should be done to correct the situation.

These are two cases but you can be sure there are many more. Next time it could be me or you and it causes us to be concerned when we travel abroad. We pay large sums of money to be covered beyond OHIP when we travel and should expect to be treated in a more direct manner. In Doris' case she pays close to $4000 in extra medical care as she is elderly and that is all the more reason she should have been looked after in a timely fashion.

I am not criticizing the medical staff or hospitals as we received excellent care...it is the administration of these institutions that concern me. AMEN.

On Her Way Home

Doris is  in her 94th year and has travelled with us over the years. Her stays in Florida amazed our neighbours when they realized her age. They saw her walking daily by herself, swimming every day during the winter and generally being a lively person with a zest for life.

The years caught up to her this week and she had a fight with her body and heart and had to get some relief from the doctors at the regional hospitals. All the nurses and care workers admired her spunk and didn't make a sound when they prodded and pinched her flesh to see what was bothering her. Needles and iv's she took in stride and managed to comment about the good weather and the trees she could see through her window.

Well she is getting a special ride home on a Lear Jet called a medic-vac and along with Theresa they will be returning to Oakville in style. Doris needs some more help and with her return to home she will be with her extended family and accept the spoiling again which comes with being an exceptional Senior.

I was sad to see her hooked up to those tubes and wires because she always said she never wanted to be sick and need help. Well she does need help and I know with a little TLC and some good care she will be back to her rightful place walking the sidewalk on Falgarwood to meet and greet the neighbours who love her dearly.

Doris Up, Up And Away

My 92 year old mother-in-law is a frequent traveller. She accompanies us on most of our trips and all the ones we make to Florida. She is a good traveller and rarely sleeps on our long 16 hour days on our way south. This week she is travelling to New Brunswick to spend a few weeks with her sister-in -law Polly.They have been friends for longer than most of us have been living and still love each others' company. The weeks of visitation have already been filled with social engagements and I am sure that when she steps on the scale on returning to Ontario, she will be in for a shock. Down there they know how to cook and eat.

Doris gets excited when she travels and sleeps lightly the night before leaving. This morning I heard her creeping around well before her normal time of getting up. She tries to be quiet but I hear her. She has packed her clothes days before and checks and re-checks everything a dozen times.

She is not a nervous flyer and gets special treatment because of her age; seat number F, row 1. Since there is little service on flights these days she packs a good lunch. Usually she shares it with her seatmates, specially if it is a young man.

Today we drove Doris over to Hamilton to board the West Jet flight. You would never know that she was her age as she walked through security. We will miss her for a few weeks and will pick her up at her sister-in-law's house to travel home. I know Doris will have a great visit and tell us of all her adventures while in New Brunswick.

My 92 Year Old Helper

Doris likes to keep busy and she does just that. I sometimes tell her that work stops after lunch and she agrees. Washing dishes, keeping the kitchen floor clean, baking pies and hanging out clothes are just a few of the things she does to keep busy. Sometimes Doris crosses the line and tries to help me with the outside chores.

I planted a coconut in the side yard and a few chestnuts in a pot which I placed in the front alcove so it could be watered by the nearby sprinkler. At supper time I pointed out these new happenings and to be sure I emphasized where they were and not to even touch them. I was really trying to avoid her cleaning things up outside.

Today when Theresa and I were trimming our Ficus trees I had to stand on a ten foot step ladder and I needed her to anchor the base. I observed from my perch that the coconut was missing and the hole where it was planted was filled with nice black earth. After we completed our job I checked to see where my newly planted Chestnuts were and there they were ... gone.

I told Theresa that Doris must have been helping me with the yard work. I went inside and approached her kindly and asked if she might have removed my plantings. Doris explained that she removed what she thought was a rock that would hurt the lawnmower and filled in the hole with an empty pot of black soil. Was there something wrong ?

Doris assured me that the pot had nothing in it but soil so I dug up the soil and found the nuts intact and ready for replanting. Being such a good helper I told Doris that her main contribution was really in the confines of the house and that any time you see an empty pot with soil in it it not empty but a planting that is not yet growing.

Doris is a great helper but these things will happen as she approaches a hundred so I better get used to it. I wonder what I will be doing when I am 92.