Rambling Thoughts

There are so many stories out there in the news today that it is hard to imagine so many negatives exist. The news media wish to sell its product and so pick up the flashy stories about crime and violence. International news is usually about violence and wars with ordinary people suffering. Few people trust our leaders and fewer people believe that governments work for the ordinary citizens.

The United Nations has lost its power because the big 8 power nations act outside the jurisdiction of the UN charter whenever it's not in its interest. When the charter was signed it appeared at that time we would have a world sanctioning body prepared to monitor the affairs of the worlds nations and settle differences that would arise from time to time. Lester B Pearson was one of the great leaders and made considerable impact by establishing the Blue Beret Peace Keeping Force. 

The super powers have hi-jacked the UN by having veto power and right today the UN is unable to act against Syria because three of the super powers will not let it happen because it is against its national interest. The democratic process is followed to some degree but when some nations have greater power than others the system fails.

There are so many hot button issues in the world today that it is impossible to act on them as there are divides in the UN and the idea of a world police force is far removed from the UN charter. The UN is effective in providing aid  to  countries suffering disasters  such as the one in Haiti. Even there the flow of relief  was slow and mainly ineffective. In African countries where warring populations are in conflict and horrible acts are regularly carried out the UN has no ability to correct the situation.

In spite of all the mess it feels great to live in Canada.

Much On My Mind

It seems that once in a while there is overload on my mind. I never ever thought about this before but now at my more advanced age I get a little concerned about too much on my plate at one time. Deaths of friends has weighed heavy during the last few years when many of my closest friends have taken a journey to the great abyss. Preparing for down sizing is a needed reality but I don't know if I can cope with the idea of getting rid of the wonderful clutter I accumulated during the last 60 years.

Realizing that for the first time in my life that people see me as an aging being and treat me in like manner. I never thought of aging would be such a personal process. Ar least my family and close friends treat me the same. Growing old gracefully is such a myth; I will grow old any way I please and and I haven't decided yet how that will be. I know it will take some doing to change my ways and I really don't see the need anyhow.

There is so much that I have not done and I see so many glitches in my way to achieving these dreams that I worry I will be gone before I do everything . Small simple tasks that I would do before breakfast now require the morning and big tasks sometimes don't get done at all.

I love to write and could do much more of it but there is the physical aspect to life that must be attended to. Exercise often, eat well, be careful what you drink and how much, don't overdo anything and always everything in moderation. Actually I never did anything in moderation.....why should I start now?

Tomorrow I will be sorry I wrote this blog but tonight I am just venting. Venting is good for your health and I wish to be healthy. Actually I feel better already so I will have a small moderate drink and sleep soundly.

Doing Nothing

I know you and I are incapable of doing nothing. However I am taking a few days to just rest and recover from a little overactive few  days where my desire to work was greater than my ability to preform. After one such day I was so happy with the result that I planned to do the same today. To get caught up in your reading, blogging and just forget about all the little tasks is something we are not used to.

Theresa and I sat for almost two hours just having breakfast and talking out beside the pool this am. I usually arrive at my reading spot in the rocking chair beside the pool at daybreak and with hot green tea I begin my day. Theresa joins me later with her coffee and we plan our day. With this new way of life we do not need to plan, just live. I could get used to this.

By mid day I will realize that flowers need watering and the bird bath has to be filled and so on. We really don't know how to relax completely. When alone in the morning I meditate in a kind of way and it causes one to think deeply and makes you wonder.Wondering is sometimes called day dreaming and that is all right as well. Most inventions and good thoughts come from wondering. As a teacher I used to see kids day dreaming and brought their minds back to reality. Maybe we should give students time to wonder and meditate for a few minutes every day.I had one wonderful teacher who at the end of the school day used to get us to close our eyes and put our heads on the desk and dream or wonder  for two minutes. It was a great  way to end the school day.

As we age we share more time in activities which bring us happiness. Frequently I have a short nap and awake refreshed and ready to get going again. Most young people today are so busy they do not have time to do nothing and if they do they fill that great space by exercising their thumbs texting. For me I plan to do nothing in a meaningful way for a few days. I might even accomplish something.

So I Am 75

When I was a young person I thought 75 was the age of an old person. This morning I realize how ridiculous I was in my youthful judgement. The physical body maybe could use a tune  up. I am slower crossing the street, take longer in the bathroom, eat mainly what I want and not what I need and spend too much time in front of the TV.

For all that I still feel great and look forward to the next 25 years. Some advice my Dad gave me when I was a young man leaving my home in Cape Breton back in the early fifties didn't pan out all that badly. He told me to pick my friends slowly and carefully. Trust those who meet your scrutiny and always watch your back.When it comes to women he said be aware of girls who cannot dance; you would never be happy with them. There is no job too big or too small so make sure you always have one. For protection in Montreal, he said to carry a sock half full of sand -it makes a wonderful weapon and is not illegal. Lastly, remember your family and real friends; in the end they are the only ones you can truly trust.

This might seem like funny advice but it worked. I have many friends with whom I started school and still maintain close ties. During my venture into life I have done nearly every job imaginable, from garbage collector, tobacco primer, teacher, coroner, mayor, store clerk, farm work, father, horseman, JP, and many others. I never was too proud to do my best at every one of these chores. The money I received from this work supported myself and my family.

Throughout my years I have been selfish insofar as I used many of the family resources to get ahead in life. I did not portion my time fairly and too often neglected my family and used their time for my personal interests. This is my greatest regret. The time I shared with my family and friends was indeed golden and made the moments all the more memorable.

Public service was always a part of my makeup and I saw need everywhere. I picked my spots to make a difference and along the way circumstances made it possible to meet many people and situations which enriched my life. Always I was, and still am, aware of the influence of my wife and family and the acid test for my actions was if they be proud of what I accomplished.

Every life has high and low points and I am a person who has experienced both. As an emotional person who tears up at weddings, at hearing our national anthem, and family gatherings, I have over the years tended to stay out of the limelight and delegate others to carry the load. As a young person I was given two afflictions which framed much of my public life. I had a terrible stutter and lisp from birth. This caused me to have a struggle every time I had to read aloud or speak publicly. This was worse as a young person and I became extremely shy. A number of teachers aided me and some pushed me into a hellish place where I was ready to drop out. The good prevailed and I persisted and in a way was challenged. Prime Minister Lester B. Pearson had a lisp and on graduation day in 1964 he presented me with my university sheepskin and we smiled during our brief conversation as we lisped together at that moment.

There are many things that make me happy...watching the sun come up in the morning... seeing my family all together and getting along... driving to Florida with a great partner to share all the wonder on that 2300 km drive... gardening... attracting birds to our houses in the back yard... phone calls to friends and family.. . just being alive at 75, and looking forward to every day.

A few things which depress me include: world hunger, aboriginal living conditions, women's rights, governments who don't govern honestly, religious groups who want to change the world, and bullies throughout the world, be it in school or in the UN, wars over oil, and our environment.

Christmas Morning

Every Christmas is special. This year I am doubly blessed because of my desire to be well and on my way to a new life with walking and physical capabilities. My wish was granted and my objective of walking free without cane or walker became a reality. Last eve we gathered in the sun room and played music and ate goodies and drank our favourite drinks until midnight . Seeing a full day ahead we wisely went to bed only to wake up at 7am and Begin our Xmas rituals all over.

I love Xmas and this being my 75th has special significance. Our family gathering will be robust, noisy and loving as usual but there is a certain change in the family. We are all adults so we are waiting for the new surge of energy to come from the next generation to make the picture complete.With Doris holding her 94 years in check we have four generations around the table. It is a wonderful feeling to be part of a family who share common goals and values and get excited about the simple things in life.

So MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone and remember the true meaning and do something unselfish to make the world a better place in which to live.

People Do Care

Today I was making last minute preparations for my surgery tomorrow. From early in the morning until when I closed the phone at 9:50, there has been a steady stream of well wishers. My children and grand children are concerned of course; and my neighbours came over to offer support and make me feel good. Friends who for years have supported me in my many endeavours called or emailed me. I was wishing I was back in politics again because with this outburst of concern, I could have won every time.

What I am really trying to say is that I am overwhelmed with kindness and it makes me feel so grateful and humble, that I had to express these feelings. I always knew this to be true, but this time there is written and verbal proof. I shall try to be worthy of these sentiments and in turn do my part to add to the pool of well-being and kindness expressed by you to me today.

Thank you.

Weekend Reunion

With perfect fall weather and a visit from friends what more could you ask for? Well, this weekend was just that with a couple of days under perfect conditions to catch up on all the news from the Valley. We had planned to get together over there but we were unable to make that connection so we reversed the plans and they came here.

Most of our ideas about all the things we were going to do flew out the window and we used most of our time just talking. We ate well by enjoying a turkey dinner which stimulated our memories and across the table  we shared memories of people here and long departed. It is rewarding to have time to look at pictures and  try to remember all the people in the back row and have a inward smile about so and so who at one time or another had a brief encounter which you still remember.

Visits cause you to think of the past and share moments which are or were important to you. Doors are opened and conversations jump from one event  to another without a thought . With friends your guard is down and you feel free to be honest and open. Laughter becomes spontaneous as we relive those shared  happy and sometimes humorous moments. Laughter turns to instant sadness as names of people pop up and we realize they are no longer with us. However these changing  moods and moments continue until you realize that the time you planned to play that game of euchre was long gone.

You go for a walk, linger over a beautiful tree with leaves at their peak of beauty and move on making the connection about how fleeting our lives really are. Without words we see each other as we wish to and feel good about the bond that has been established where everything is beautiful in its own way. I loved that song. Evening comes and after a dinner at a local restaurant we return to the warmth of home and sitting in a comfortable chair with a small glass of Baileys make a toast to friendship and friends and plan to get together again in the near future.

The beauty of life in general is your ability to mesh with the natural order of things and to relate to friends and family. When you are out of kilter with either of these truths than your are missing the real joy of life. Personally I have always believed  that happiness and joy can be achieved with little dependency on things if we have the spiritual strength to become one with nature and its natural causes.

Remembrance Day

 

November 11th has always been an important day for me. From earliest days during our school life there was a special emphasis given to this day. It was a declared holiday for many years but now it is celebrated without the holiday. As youngsters we were treated to veterans coming to our classes and sharing their stories with us. It was interesting that rarely was there a long speech about the actual war but rather what the war meant to the world and we in particular.

Later when I was involved in education we had students competing for the honour of representing our area in public speaking and essay writing. I felt that the little services held in a class or a school were very meaningful when attended to by a Legion Member. The children wore poppies and recited the poem,In Flanders Fields and there were tears from the older members of the gathering as so many were affected by the war.

I have personal feelings about this most important day as many of my immediate family were members of the Canadian Armed Forces during the first and second war.My father was a second world volunteer and went off to war only to find out that he was not suitable due to physical requirements and was sent home after basic training. He was given a volunteers badge which I still treasure and is a main part of my collection. Dad's wedgie is still in my possession and along with my own hold a respectful  place in my room of memorabilia.

In a way I feel fortunate to live in a time and place where I never was called upon to serve my country. I did serve as an officer in the Canadian Militia for years in a Scottish Regiment as did my Dad but I was too young for the Korean war and too old now to serve.

There are many ways to honour the memory of the men and women who served and died for our freedom. November 11th is a symbolic date. Every day there are opportunities to remember. Be positive and supportive when our people come home from war torn countries and suffer physical and mental disabilities. Support legislation that gives our vets a proper support pension and medical facilities. Be vocal in your support and let people know you care about those who have served on our behalf and most of all try to make Canada's foreign policy one of peace and caring for the oppressed and needy.

Back To University

In 1960 I was to have a dream fulfilled; I was going to university full time. I had attended Teachers College and taught for six years, five of those as a principal. During these days I managed to get married, fathered a child and saved a few dollars. It was always my dream to attend full time but with a wife and child to support I could only do just that; dream. Circumstances changed quickly as I was invited to attend Olympic tryouts for the half-mile. At the same time, I was offered a full time position as a teacher in a new federal program called Program 10. I would work evening shifts at the local secondary school between the hours of 5pm and 11pm. This was a well paying job and I had to make up my mind in a hurry.

In your life there are times when a decision will have a tremendous impact on your future. This was one for me as I always dreamed both about the Olympics and university. But this decision would clearly cut one of these options out. After discussing this dilemma with my wife I had to make the decision to go back to university with a stable position and a definite future. The truth of the matter was that even though I was invited to the Olympic trials I would never have made the team. My times were poorer than three others that I ran against in the past so it wasn't a matter of giving up a podium finish.

I had only a matter of days before I had to report to Laurentian  University and work for the Sudbury School Board. Because we lived in Northern Ontario we decided to sell our worldly goods, and this was difficult, and purchase new items when we found a place to live.

This decision was possibly one of my best ones as we moved to Sudbury and I achieved two main goals. One was returning to university and the other was being able to support my family during the process. We found a small apartment and settled in and I prepared for my tasks. I was so nervous the first day of university with the registration and coping with the new surroundings. Laurentain was a new bilingual school with a small enrolment and you quickly got to know most of the fellow students. Small classes were a definite advantage and as I was taking philosophy and religious studies I was surrounded by books, books and more books. My problem was time to read all these.

My new teaching position was something else as my assignment was new to me. Mechanical drafting and science  so I had to keep one step ahead of the adult students. It was fun and a challenge.Within two months I was asked to be the on site principal and this gave me a little more money and some freedom as I had one less class to teach.

During this new year of adventures I discovered that education was indeed my niche and philosophy my passion.We as a family grew to realize this arrangement came at a cost. I was too busy and this placed a great deal of responsibility on my wife and family. This would be my fate for the next thirty years until I retired.

As I look back I still wonder if I could have won that race in Saskatoon and what would have been but the moment is temporary and I never regretted for a moment going back to university.

Recovering

For the next 48 hours I had to get the poisons out of my system. I was on a diet of no food, no water -   no fluids at all. I had blood sampling every 2 hours and needles, more lines in my arms and neck but I could care less as I felt very sick. Nurses were great, changing my soiled gowns and keeping me cool with cool cloths on my head and frequent cool baths. They were also busy emptying the containers of bile and other stuff frequently.

After 48 hours I was given jello, water and cold tea. I was recovered. I could smile at my visitors and I even combed my hair. My son came to show me films of his son at flying school. I became less emotional.  Post traumatic stress took its toll on someone like me who cries at weddings and such.

That evening Theresa brought supper and Kraft dinner and sausages tasted great. I could not describe my hospital menu but who cared; I was well again.

Second Chance
The good thing about this event is that I have a second chance. I asked the Dr's to book me in for my spinal operation ASAP. The OR staff came to see me and tried to explain how this happened. For them it was the second time in their lengthy career. I will be given a battery of tests to check the problem and I shall proceed to complete the task I started. I have full confidence in the system, the nurses, the Dr's, and confident that this time I will get it done. Do I have fear? Yes, but not enough to stop me from becoming healthy once more.

It's Only a Number

Recently I celebrated my birthday. I am now living in my 75th year. It's only a number some would say, but it represents in a numerical way that your life has added up to to a series of events and happenings with dates. The day you were born, your first steps or your first word are all in that list. After that memories take the place of dates. Knowing what year or month becomes secondary to that incident imprinted in your inner mind's eye.

You better remember the date you got married and the birthdays of your wife and children but the thousand other things that happened along the way get shuffled in order of memory. We have a way of bringing events into focus triggered by stimuli. Sometimes it is a piece of music, a picture or just a sound or smell which causes a rush of energy to flood your mind, and we are able to relive those precious moments. Our memories are not all pleasant as life doesn't work that way, but time does modify our perceptions and in some cases, shape an event to better serve our needs.

Some people who are not satisfied with their history according to the facts will re-write it and it will give them a better status until they meet people who know the truth. In my years of a busy life, my memories pile up in a confusion of reality and modified memories. Most of my early childhood thoughts and memories come from repeated stories and if there are different versions from different memories of our family that is fine as memories are just that, memories. While attempting to complete a book of my memories I find a certain pleasure in day dreaming about events that occurred many years ago. Somehow my reality makes a better picture than the actual true account and for this reason I have many more pleasant thoughts than negative.

Since most of my memory is about relationships, there are people who influenced me, shaped me and gave me reason to recall them and their impact on my being. Today as I write,  many thoughts rush through my mind and as I try to recall important landmarks I find that the further I go back in history, the clearer the images appear. I trust this is because these events have been cleared through countless recalls  and are actually fresh in my memory.  It might also be the reason older people are able to remember events from years ago,  but not know where to put the jar of peanut butter after using it.

I look forward to counting my future age by events and memories rather than numbers, as memories are forever - and numbers remind us of too little time left to do all the things we wish to accomplish.

Time to Think

Waking up this morning I was greeted to the  prospect of a good rain. There has been over a month since we had any amount of warm rain and the trees and grass show signs of stress. With no prospect of outside work Theresa and I shopped to fill up our freezer with necessities.We no longer completed our shopping when the wind came up and the rain poured down. Tornado warnings were posted for our area for several hours but after some thunder and lightening the sky cleared.

It is good to have days like this as I was able to watch some of the festivities honouring Martin Luther King. To hear that famous speech again brought back memories. Playing the tapes from the years he struggled made me think of how much has changed and yet so much remains unchanged. To experience the brutality employed against the marchers and the bombings brought back the reality of America fifty years ago. It was a time for thinking and seeing the needs of our first nations people in Canada still unfulfilled. Drinking water, health care and housing are but a few of the many needs our people need.

Watching U  Tube and hearing a child from British Columbia addressing an international conference on environment and world needs brought everything into focus. This conference being held in Brazil gave her the opportunity to speak of the hopes of the youth of the world., to leaders who could make a difference. Time to think why we as Canadians promise so much at the photo ops but fail to deliver a fair share on the ground. I was so proud to be able to identify with this child as she made point after point to a somber audience who were baffled by her eloquence.

On a happier note the day ended with a beautiful sunset and brought beauty and hope to an otherwise somber day. My family had a get together for my grand daughter on Sunday and we were not able to attend. Perhaps that is one reason I was in a pensive mood.

The Last Day

It just seems like yesterday that we were celebrating the year 2000. We now are living on the last day of 2010. So much has transpired during this year which brought out all of our emotional triggers in response. Politics, volcanoes, earthquakes and of course sports. As much as I like to look back occasionally I really look forward to the uncharted waters of the future. An excitement grips my mind when I dare to daydream of all the opportunities which will avail themselves in the next 365 days.

Some of the challenges that await me are already cast but it is the unknown which amuses me. As a child I remember getting boxes, sent by our Aunt and Uncle filled with small treasures or so they seemed but it was the anticipation of the opening of the box that gave me pleasure. Life is a very exciting experience and this year will be no exception. I have some medical issues which will be resolved sometime this year and it will be new for me and I look upon this as an adventure. Adventures deal with the unknown and surprises are part of the trip. My wish is that my adventure and surprises meet my expectations.

During the next year I wish to communicate in a more meaningful way with my family and friends. Time shared with people give up the greatest rewards and offer opportunities to bring you closer to self actualization. Our growth curve sometimes becomes stagnant so this year I will make an effort to shake things up and revitalize my inner self.

Time shared with my grandchildren this holiday has been a eye opener and I have to get with it to keep up with their energy. So this is my goal and I will need much help to reach it. However the journey is the real test and I shall try to walk quickly and straight.

Some Things Never Get Old...Just Better

On this December 30 morning I am doing as I always do every morning. I am sipping green tea and while sitting on my favourite chair, reading The Toronto Star from back to front my mind is dozing. This morning is a little different as there is a crispness about the environment as a heavy white frost coats the lawn and trees. I peer out the front window and wave to the same dog walkers and see the same cars drift down the street carrying sleepy workers to their jobs.

Through these hazy eyes I see my old friend the Christmas cactus. It is now the main attraction in the front window as the Christmas Tree is packed away for another year. I see it in a different light as it was pushed to the background for a few days and now appears as it should as a solid fixture in our home. It has a glorious history being over 150 years old. It once graced the home of my mother in laws's husband's grandmother's home in British Columbia. As the previous owners have long gone to their kind reward the plant became the property of my wife Theresa.

It is large by any standard and when Theresa decided to come East to live in Ontario it appeared that the plant would land in the hands of a stranger. When I first saw the beautiful flowering cactus I decided to make it my own and when returning from a visit to B.C. I tucked it in the back seat of a Honda Civic. It was quite a job to get it in the small car and it took up all the back seat space. As I travelled East I watered it but forgot to protect it from the sun. Part of it got burned along the journey.

I removed the plant from the car and established it to its place of importance and it has been there ever since, I have made many plants from the frowns of this cactus and its babies are just as beautiful as itself. A cactus such as this becomes a living symbol of the beauty of nature and during the cold winter months this flower not only blooms once but twice. The first blooming begins in December and lasts about two months and the second one begins in March and lasts until April. This show of colour brightens our spirits during a long winter.

This cactus just shows us that some things never grow old but get better with age. We can take a lesson from this when dealing with old folks.

Commonwealth Games in India

Since the breakup or re-constructing of the British Empire over the past century we are left with a voluntary association called the British Commonwealth of Nations. Over a third of the world's population belong to this organization and it unique in as much as all the participants were once ruled by Great Britain. Regular conferences are held and all members are equal. Many still pledge allegiance to the Queen but some do not. Canada as an example still looks at the Queen as the head of our country although she appoints a Govern General to act in her place.`

Every few years a international games are held in one of the members states. Participation is limited to athletes from members of the commonwealth. These are the second largest games after the Olympics and garnish much attention. Winners of these events hold their win in high regard as many of the athletes hold world records.

This year the games are held in Delhi, India. Our athletes will mingle with others from the far flung corners of the earth. These games add a touch of class to the association and help bind the nations together. When you look at the members of this association you begin to realize the tremendous control over the seas Britain had for hundreds of years.

It is surprising as well to see that the vast majority of the commonwealth countries received their freedom without a armed conflict. In fact only a few fought for their freedom like the USA and remained friendly over the years. Today Britain and the USA are great friends but the USA is not a member of the commonwealth.

People often think these games are a waste of money but the good will gleaned through sports and culture are very strong and important. International events bring people, culture, ideas and understanding to bear for the common good.

Dad's Helper

My son is visiting us today and little does he know the jobs I have lined up for him. Henry has always been a good helper and has been my loyal assistant on many projects. From early life he was a reliable helper and when we worked together he knew my thoughts and without much verbal communication we functioned as a well oiled team.

Now we are older and I find myself being the assistant in many cases as he has become a very efficient worker and undertakes projects around his house and mine that few would attempt. He can read plans and execute them effectively. I never took the time to read plans and instructions and often found myself taking twice as long as I should have. His field is centered around electronics and has helped me in so many ways. All my family are pretty handy with computers and cameras and use this skill to communicate.

I wait for my son to come and set up a new (new to me ) music center for my garage and get my CD player hooked up (for the third time) to my TV. These chores get done when I get help. His visits are partly work but always fun. Today we have to schedule the laying down of a floor for my grand daughter and putting on a new roof at my house. A small section has to be replaced and it too small a job for a contractor but a one day for us. I messed up my GPS somehow so he took it and re-programmed it for me. He likes it so somehow I feel I may be waiting for its return.

I look forward to these little visits and the time I share with my son. It is a good feeling to have family close enough that we see each other at times other than weddings and funerals. My daughters are helpful as well but I only have one son. I am beginning to rely on him more and more to take charge of the heavy going. In return I make his favourite meal and enjoy the company.

School Year Ending

For thirty-five years the end of June was the busiest time of my life. As an educator we focused on student evaluation, graduation and special events. For the principal we had to make sure everything was organized to make the year ending smooth and plea sent. As much as I loved to see my students move on I always had a little mini depression on the last few days. Even though it was the beginning for the graduates there was a sense of loss to the people who nurtured them along the way.

The pride shown by staff and parents on these special occasions was overshadowed by the bright eyes of the students who were eager to advance into new territory and new challenges. Every year my wife would tell my children to be a little careful around this time of the year. Your father has so much responsibility and so on. Actually the responsibility part was nothing as I trusted staff to carry out their responsibilities and this made it easy for me. It was this emotional thing for me. Staff leaving, some retiring, parties, special events like the annual golf day were all part of the closing ceremony called "end of the year" for educators.

Now as I see my children having the same experience because their children are moving on and I feel more comfortable. I am no longer in the mix and can stand back and bathe in reflected glory as my grand children pick up their diplomas and sometimes recognition for a job well done. I don't get invited to speak at graduations any more nor to be there to present the athlete of the year award. I kind of miss that but only a little as other important issues take up my time and tomatoes become my students and the fruit from my trees sweeten up my life and help with the memories of those great year endings.

Father's Day

Writing about fathers day a day early gives me an opportunity to rant before the fact. This year I have been a father for over fifty years. Having that title means more than the initials you put behind your name or rewards given for good efforts in other fields. Some people wear the crown gracefully and comfortably as they have done all the right things parenting their kin. I have constant thoughts about doing the right thing or making decisions for your children when you had the control and the will to do so. My attitude has been very consistent.

As a young person I was never one to take kindly to controls of any type. It cost me dearly in my early life but formulated a philosophy for my parenting role. I felt and still feel that you can lead a child or young person in a direction dictated by your family values. Following that you have to trust in your child to make the right decisions. Let them make mistakes unless they are life threatening or dangerous and experience the consequences. Support your child and let them know you believe in them and expect them to respect you for what you are.

Be a parent but don't worry about being their friend. You will always be their friend but there will be times your children will not show it. For a time you may be the enemy but you are always their parent. I always think of Mark Twain's expression about parents when he said, "when I was 18 years old I did not know how my parents could be so stupid. When I was 19 I did not know how they learned so much in one year." That is not an exact quote but makes the point.

My father was a father in so many ways. He was not trained as a parent but he acted and reacted from the heart. He was not always correct in his dealing with me but like Mark Twain I realized he did what he felt he had from a motivation of true love and concern. Today when I look back I feel so fortunate to have had a father that had so many qualities of leadership, and I inherited some of them. As I look at our family I see my dad in so many of my siblings. Little, subtle qualities that make our family what it is. On father's day I look back to see where I came from but I always look forward to see where my children and grand children are going. It is great to be a father who is proud of his family because he is part of it.

Turning Fifty

This week I reached a milestone. One of my daughters turned 50. This is a joyous occasion because many people don't even have a daughter. For we who are fortunate to have family and friends , a birthday is a reminder that there is somewhere out there that matters. For Theresa and I there is nothing more exciting than our discussions about our kin.

Our fifty year-old has given us numerous occasions to be proud and thankful for a wonderful relationship. With three others reaching fifty during the next few years we will be blessed many times over. All have good or reasonable health, all provide us with moments only family can provide and of course the security in knowing we have a safe haven when we start to age.

On our cruise Theresa and I had time to take stock of our lives. We were able to realize just how blessed we were and the satisfaction of living close enough to our kin to benefit from their love and support. We do live far away for six months of the year but with the telephone and Facebook we pretty well are able to keep up with their world.

On a personal note I remember when turning fifty was a big deal, now with the baby boomers fifty is the new forty. we associate regularly with active people who are well into their eighties. Today your real age is not a number but the physical and mental stage you are in. We frequently say things like, "I feel like a forty year old" or "am I really that old?". What you are really saying is I want to live life to the fullest without the restraints of age.

So there we feel awfully young to have a fifty year-old daughter.

Integration Ikaluktutiak Style

While living in Akaluktutiak in the high Arctic I was fortunate to choose a path that led me to integrate with the Inuit culture.The real bonus was the friendship I developed with the children who lived nearby on TuTu (caribou) and Okaluk (Arctic Hare) Streets. I first met these children through their parents who worked with me at the Hamlet. One of my favourite young persons was Alice who used to visit frequently with her younger sister Palouk. Alice used to pack her sister in her shirt and had no problem as all young girls were called to perform this task to help their mothers who often had several young ones at the same time.

There were concerns in the community at first as to my intentions as a white man befriending young chilren. To eleviate these concerns I met and socialized with their parents and gained their confidence through time.The process was slow but rewarding as it gave me a sense of family.I would invite the children to my home for dinner and make it a rather formal ritual. We would set the table with all the silverware and even napkins. Full dressed tables were not the norm up there but we followed good manners and proper eating etiquette. The children relished these meals and soon learned to appreciate our dinners. Always we ended with cookies and pop and cleaned up the dishes.

Sometimes I invited the parents but they felt strange with our way but never complained.The favourite white mans food was spaghetti and meatballs. Alice always came to visit packing her sister.Alice lived with her grandmother and mother and there was no visible father in the picture. This was not uncommon as young girls had children and they were looked after by them or their parents.It is not uncommon for girls to give their babies to their brothers or sisters through informal adoptions. I have never heard of an orphan in Nunavut.

One day Alice came to my home and informed me that on my birthday she and the children would supply a special meal. At about six o'clock I heard Buck barking and opened the door to six kids carrying a steaming ten gallon pail and very happy children. They came in out of the cold and dark and took off the many layers of clothing. Since this was a traditinal Inuit meal cardboard was placed on the floor and contents of the pail was emptied on the cardboard. Two steaming caribou heads made up the dinner and the only thing you needed was a knife. Alice took over and became the boss. I was a little hesitant but took my place and prepared to partake of the specialty.

We were seated and Alice took over, "Henry, you like eyes?". Before I could answer the eyes were eaten and so on for an hour where each part of the animal was offered and without a quick response it was devoured by the girls. I did manage the tongue which was delicious and other parts as well. The girls called this a feast and it would not be the last during my stay. Traditional meals are called feasts and are a strong part of the Inuit culture.

The feast ended when not a speck of flesh remained. The girls tried to see who could make the biggest burp and one backfired and made everyone laugh. Since it was my birthday they presented me with a small gadget which was a measuring tape and a pack of needles.We ended the evening with cookies and pop and they informed me that the people in the hamlet called me Elenok which means friend. I was happy.

The lesson I learned from this was you can find happiness anywhere if you open your heart and mind to accept people for what they are, not what you want them to be.