Extended Family

Growing up in a mining town in Cape Breton, I was surrounded by extended family. Within a few hundred meters were numerous uncles, aunts, grandparents and cousins. We all lived at the end of the lane named after my grandfather. The hub or center of the family was Ma Vickers, the matriarch for sure. Her home was surrounded by the homes of her children. These homes were built on her land.All of her children living there were part of her everyday life.

Ma Vickers was an institution and her home was an open house. All the folks around there felt at home and would enter her home through an unlocked door and have tea. The teapot was a blue metal pot holding at least twelve cups and was never empty. Loose tea was used and when the pot got nearly empty Ma would throw in a handful of tea and fill the pot with water.

We lived four doors down at the very end of the lane but my mother was able to talk to her mom every day if she wished. There were few secrets then as life was simple and open. The birth of a child , the death of a pet, the purchase of something new all were treated as news and held the conversation that day. I loved my grandmother and she had time to make me feel important. With our big family it was easy to be overlooked but not in our case as we had extended family. Ma taught me to play crib and euchre and always had a kind word if I needed it.

Our aunts and uncles co-parented us and we felt accountable to each member of our clan. The one on one parenting was minimal in our home but was more than made up by the intervention of our elders. It was a comfortable feeling to know that our whole neighbourhood was family.

As I see things now with families spread all over the country and world the component that is missing is that special family tie which comes from extended family relationships. I feel blessed that we are able to carry on the old Cape Breton tradition and are in close proximity to most of our family. The next best thing is the telephone, face book and family visits. Over the next few weeks Theresa and I hope to renew those extended family relationships.