My Friend Arlyss

Arlyss  began life on a small farm in Eastern Ontario. Eighty acres was a small farm but his Mom and Dad managed to make a living and raise two children. It could be said that all that is really genuine about Arlyss was gleaned through his connection with the land. He grew up and became a educator and served his students well.

I first met Arlyss when I applied for the position of Supervising Principal in Pembroke in 1966. He was the first person who engaged me in a conversation after I was hired and with a handshake we became friends. He was easy to like and during the years after I rarely heard a negative word pass his lips. He was a small person in stature but strong as any person I knew for his size.He wore a smile which often hid some of the hurt he felt from criticism and gossip.

Arlyss grew on my family and very soon he became a regular at our table and on frequent trips. I relied on my friend to gain the mood of the community and he was rarely wrong. I had a turbulent beginning with my career in Pembroke as the city was not ready for the changes I had in mind. Many times he came to my defence with staff and people in the community over issues. This honest example of loyalty became more apparent as our friendship grew.

The number of occasions when Arlyss appeared from nowhere to rescue the day with his help in providing beautiful food as only he could do were too numerous to name. Our family expected him to be at all our family gatherings and he became a true and significant member in our decision making. We valued his judgment and when I entered politics he was right there by my side. Many people questioned our relationship because we were quite different and lived life styles which seemed to be incompatible. He was there when we travelled to Cape Breton and Wales, and it seemed that whenever something was happening in our family he contributed to the occasion.

In Pembroke there was an elite club called the Friday night club and was held every week after work at Arlyss' home. This was a loosely organized group and when I came to Pembroke I saw the people entering his house every week. I was feeling that I was missing something and asked why I was not invited. He said that I might feel out of place with the group. I assured him I would be OK and the next Friday I attended . I never missed another Friday gathering as I loved the close relationship I  developed during these get togethers. The close group of Arlyss, Winston, John, Doug and myself still are close  and the group was larger but we were special.

Arlyss and I had a unique relationship. I trusted him without a doubt and shared secrets and information  that was very personal and sometimes vital to my position in the community. He never betrayed my trust. He stood beside me through the good and the bad and never let me down. He was a true friend and after I left Pembroke we remained close.

Arlyss visited us for years and always brought a joyful presence  every time he came. He shared some inner thoughts that showed  some inner turmoil  pestered him through his life but he never let it interfere with his relationship with our family. Arlyss loved my children and at all occasions he held them in high regard. Our children in return always thought of Mr. Young as one of them.

When I received the news that Arlyss had passed away I was shaken because I knew I had lost one of my really   genuine  friends. I talked to him about eight days before and he did not sound right. He did not want to engage me in a conversation and he was distracted. I knew something was not right and told Theresa so. I was upset but knew he would be OK. He always was. But this time he was not. I lost a great friend and was proud to walk with him through our 45 years of sharing friendship and considered him a really good person. He will always be part of my life and I will cherish his memory.