Mother's Day

For years I have written a post about Mother's Day.I covered the emotional and objective aspects of this day. Personally it has always been a day of remembering and rediscovering the things I could have and did not do or say when my Mom was alive. Today I look with a different perspective. I realize that we cannot put the tooth paste back in the tube but you can make sure in the future you act in a more loving and thoughtful way.

I have written so much about Mom in my book that I probably repeat myself endlessly about her and her influence on my character. She was my super ego and no matter how I tried to escape she always found a way of creeping in to effect my judgment.

For years after her death I had dreams and realistic visits with her. My wife had a difficult time with me sitting up in bed and talking to the wall but actually Mom. She would try to wake me but I was so deep in thought that nothing could break the connection. Then I would go back to sleep. In the morning She would ask me who I was talking to and I would be able to give her a  actual account of my visit with Mom.

At times of crisis in my life I would receive this visit and receive great advice. In real life Mom rarely gave me any advice but since her death I have had an on going partnership with her. I know that there is a rational answer to this situation but I love the thought that maybe the times I needed her when she was alive she was too busy or occupied to come to my aid. Now that she and I have lots of time I am receiving that attention I so dearly wished for as a child and young person. Her visits trailed off  when I retired and no longer was in the public eye. I suppose my conscience and subconsciousness aspect has not required her help as I am at peace and have a wonderful life with a family and extended line of friends.

Age becomes your motivator and you wish to squeeze everything you desire into the time you have left. My Mom died well before normal age for most but her 65 years encompassed a world of achievements and her influence to her family and friends was remarkable. The time we have cannot be measured in linear time but how we use the time we had. My Mom used her time doing what she knew best, building a family who would become good people. She achieved this and on this day I remember picking May Flowers to wear to church and to give to her just because she was our Mom, and we loved her.